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Madonna Needs To Have a Seat

Dear Madonna,

We met you in the 1980s when you were telling “Everybody” to take a “Holiday”. The world knew you since “Like a Virgin”. I loved you in “Who’s That Girl,” even though the critics didn’t. I watched faithfully every time it came on HBO when I was home from school for the summer.

I remember noting how you were the first person I ever paid attention to in entertainment who had mastered the art of reinventing yourself. I understand now how much stylists have to do with that, but I didn’t know back then. I was in awe.

I remember watching you through Blonde Ambition, A League of Their Own, The Immaculate Collection, Sex, Erotica, etc. I was always impressed with how you chose to be yourself no matter what was going on and no matter what anyone else said.

I admit that I lost interest after Ray of Light. There have been a few songs here and there that I’ve liked (I still don’t like “Hollywood” in spite of your efforts to ram it down the throats of Americans everywhere), but overall, lately, I haven’t been impressed.

That’s not the point of this post today. The point of this is to ask you to have a seat over your Lady Gaga pettiness. Your new MDNA cover has you mocking her Born This Way cover. Really, Madonna?

You’ve grossed over $1.2 billion in complete sales and you still sell out arenas when you perform. You just got a Live Nation recording deal worth $120 million. You cut off the air conditioning for a concert indoors in Miami in the heat and people didn’t walk out because you were diva-ing out over concerns of how A/C affects your voice (oh, that’s the issue)!

I’d say you’re pretty bad-ass as it stands.

Just because Lady Gaga worshiped you as a kid and emulates some of your style (and has admitted to it, and even did a cute tribute to you, TWICE, in “Alejandro”), doesn’t mean that you have to call her reductive. Your camp has already said that you can’t be copied as you’re unique. You pay them well, sister.

While I am a Lady Gaga fan, even I see how she gets on people’s nerves. If it didn’t bother you, as you claimed before, why go all out now in an effort to show everyone that your penis is bigger than hers?

There’s no need for this type of effort, Madonna. Your record stands on its own. You won’t be forgotten. You’ve ascended to icon status now. You’ll be mourned for a while by Pop lovers, women who emulated you as girls, and gays alike when you die. You’re way more respected and famous. Gaga is still finding her way. Instead of showing your petty jealousy (which it is) over her, you should tuck it in and offer full-throated support. You have your own thing going on and there is no need to come for someone in the way that you have. You never saw Beyonce come for Rihanna, did you?

Imagine if Marilyn Monroe were alive to tell you to have a seat back when you were doing Blonde Ambition. You wouldn’t have liked that, but I don’t think that would have stopped you. I don’t think this will stop Lady Gaga, either.

Besides, Gaga can out-sing you upside down while on smelling salts, and you will deal.

You’ve worked hard for what you have and were allowed to cook. Stop being petty over something which you are really much bigger in all areas. You’re over 50, you’re a mother, and you’ve done more than you even hoped and wished you could while starving to make a deal in NYC in the late 1970s.

Chill.

Yours,

ReadSela

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