How to Lose Me In 10 Days

jamin | March 23, 2012 | 0 Comments

Gather ’round, youngins, I’ll tell you a tale. A tale of how a woman lost her chance at getting the draws in only ten days.

Shannon tried his best to be a good guy. He liked dating and really liked having sex, but he knew it was best to wait it out. He hadn’t waited a few times before, and that didn’t work out well for him. He had never been in a relationship with those girls, either from losing interest or getting out all the excitement too early. What? He doesn’t like sleeping around. Moving on.

Ironically, the relationships that were the most serious were the ones with whom he had never put out. He preferred to have serious interests and relationships versus casual ones that left him feeling empty inside – that’s what his 20s were all about. He never understood how a woman with whom he was intimate would wind up in a serious relationship in spite of sleeping around just days before meeting the new person. He also didn’t understand how some of them would hit him up “just to see how you’re doing” when they were newly into their relationships.

He met this one woman, Marley, while out with friends at a bar. They went on a date and had a great time. They went on a second date and had an even better time. They wound up making out before the night was over, but no more than that. They both agreed to a third date, but Marley kept in touch via text, GChat, and phone, but never seemed to bring up the third date.

He asked her about this and she stated that she wasn’t in the right head space for a relationship and that she could go on other dates with Shannon and have a great time but she wouldn’t take it any further. Shannon thanked Marley for her honesty. She stated that they should stay in touch, with which he agreed, because they got along outside of dating (conversation, interests, etc.).

Shannon went on other dates and met someone who seemed genuinely interested in him. Her name was Donna. Shannon and Donna were on a date one night and were at an art gallery opening. While eating hors d’oeuvre, sipping champagne, and talking together, Shannon noticed Marley. Donna went to the restroom and Shannon said hi to Marley (as a friend). Marley looked surprised to see him and loudly stated that she was looking for her date. Shannon replied that he was only saying hello.

Donna rejoined him and they resumed their conversation for a few minutes only to be interrupted by Marley who proceeded to have a conversation with Shannon but failed to introduce herself to Donna or look at her. Shannon tried to introduce Marley, but she walked away. Donna and Shannon thought no more of it and enjoyed the rest of their evening.

Shannon and Marley talked the next day. Marley said that the previous evening was weird, but didn’t explain what was weird after Shannon said that nothing was weird for him. Over the next week Shannon and Marley talked as friends and then Marley suggested that they have casual sex instead of dating.

Interestingly enough, though intrigued in the offer, Shannon clarified that he had not wanted to date her past her confession that she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Shannon was confused over where dating comment was coming from. Marley didn’t respond. Shannon then made a joke about Marley being smart after discussing something related to Physics and said it was sexy. Marley claimed that Shannon was hot for “it” and that she liked seeing that. Shannon asked for clarification on what “it” was and Marley replied that Shannon should tell her what “it” is.

Shannon started thinking. Marley seemed to like attention. She liked going on a date because it was a nice time where she got to show off. She liked flirting with him over text messages because it stroked her ego. She liked thinking that Shannon wanted her more than he actually did because it made her feel important. She liked being pursued with no intention of ever doing anything serious with Shannon.

Shannon decided to cease communication with Marley, even though he was being friendly. It just simply wasn’t worth the confusion, frustration, or forced ego-stroking that he wasn’t even engaging in. He felt it was odd that she knew something personal about his weekend plans that he didn’t tell her earlier. He hated that she saw a vulnerable and normal side to Marley that didn’t seem to emerge until later in their knowing each other. Shannon liked vulnerable and normal. It makes someone human like him.

Shannon followed up his second date with Donna with a third soon afterward. They danced the night away on that date and Shannon never took his hand, arm, or eyes off of her the entire time they danced on the floor. He noticed that she was doing the same thing to him.

Shannon was very happy to notice that he was maturing quickly. Normally, he would entertain, chase, and pursue women who liked attention, but he’s worth more than wasted time. If Marley wants to be that person, Shannon will let her be that person. If Marley really wants Shannon, she won’t let it feel “weird” that Shannon is on a date without her and rudely interrupt him while he is on a date in order to have a side conversation.

So, chirrun, know what you want and go for it. Don’t toy with things and people. You’ll lose them (and the draws) in the process.

Donna almost got the draws on Saturday, by the way.