| August 17, 2012 | 0 Comments

Some call it swill. Others prefer chai lattes. I was the in the latter group until about April, I believe. Maybe it was May. All I know is that I am now a coffee drinker. I was first introduced to it by my current manager on my project who bought me a blonde roast with milk. I added my own Stevia and actually liked it. I discovered the iced version soon afterward. Now, in about 2 months’ time I’ve graduated to medium blend (Starbucks: Pike Place Roast). I still add way too much sugar-free vanilla syrup and whole milk. Maybe I still can’t stand that taste too much? In any case, whenever I have it, the boost is great.

My New Attraction. !Coffee! !!!!

Y’all. Lemme tale you how much life I get from a Tall order from Starbucks. It’s ridiculous. I understand why people depend on it for a perk in the morning. It really gives you a good boost. It makes me feel like running long distance to get in the presence of someone I don’t like and swing at them about the temples with a sack full of half dollars, but then I think about how Jesus would feel about that and I ask for forgiveness for those thoughts.

And deny ever having any urges like that.

Like any good church-going American does.

Coffee is pretty much all it’s cracked up to be. I don’t have it often during a week, but I got a good boost today and whenever I have it. It also helps you poo! The downside is that I get a little jittery and annoyed when I have to encounter mess at work (or elsewhere) and I just want to enjoy the buzz. People car really harsh my buzz. I sound like a drug addict. *slaps cephalic vein with the vigor of Billie Holiday*

In closing, coffee is good. I understand why people like it so much now. I’ll probably try a darker roast soon. My grandmother said that coffee makes you black. She must have had it every day since childhood because she was the complexion of the darkest member of the Mofesebutu tribe from the bowels of East Central Africa. No, that tribe does not exist. Yes, I just slandered my dead grandmother. Yes, I loved her dearly and lost it in the car at her burial. You will deal.


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Category: About Me, Christianity, Humor, Life

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