“Let’s Everyone Just Calm Down”

jamin | November 14, 2012 | 0 Comments

The title is a quote from a friend of mine when we were talking about sex once. I won’t go into the story, but it was funny and that quote was shade directed my way.

I apply that title to Conservatives, Republicans, Racist White People, and Evangelical Christians who all voted for Romney and heralded his potential win as a return of America to “American” values. I would like to invite all of you who voted for Romney who feels that the world is ending and America is doomed to fall into the open pit-mouth of Hell to have an entire amphitheater of seats. Romney lost. It’s okay.

To Conservatives

I’m so sorry that you were lied to. Yes, you were lied to. By yourselves. You’ve talked yourselves into this little corner of America since around 2004. The day after many Independents voted for Bush in 2004 because they were afraid of being unprotected and afraid of gay men getting legally covered for butt sex via marriage, they regretted their decision. Bush had no care for the environment. He used warrantless wiretapping to spy on Americans. He used anti-gay hysteria to get voted back in office and conveniently never brought up the Federal Marriage Amendment after he got reelected.

Since 2004 Conservatives have huddled around Fox News, which gave them news they liked to hear – “We’re right. They’re wrong. Liberals are demonically possessed scum. Anyone not like us in “unAmerican,” an anarchist, and wishes for the downfall of America.” Also, anyone who is like us had better be White or identify very closely with White culture or fit in the box laid out for them to make other Conservatives feel more comfortable around them – you have to be clockable.

Talking yourselves into a corner, you just only kept talking about things that made you comfortable, as we all tend to do. However, in the world of politics, it’s best to know what all sides are thinking without demonizing the other side. Sure, Liberals demonize you all the time, but for the 2012 election cycle, I’ll say that Liberals fought with truth on their side more than you did on your side, Conservatives (birtherism, college transcripts, voter suppression, gerrymandering, etc.). Lying to yourselves cost you big time. Your people told you that you had a sure win with Romney. Heck, most of you didn’t even like him during the primaries and you salivated at the thought of being able to control him and make him bend to your will by placing your advisers close to his ears. Paul Ryan being VP? Score! The far-right wing of the GOP representing as America’s number 2 man!

Karl Rove, Dick Morris, Fox News, and a couple Republican-leaning public polls told you that Romney was a lock even as every other news outlet, poll, and Nate Silver’s New York Times (NYT) blog showed differently. The Romney campaign said that Romney was “shellshocked” at the loss. You felt, as you had been told, that anyone else’s information was factually incorrect and skewed to propel Liberals. The media, which had been in Mitt Romney’s pocket until the Jeep ad fiasco, honestly, was made out to be your enemy even while CNN hosted two Tea Party debates (that crap incensed me).

You built up a bubble of preaching to the choir, making yourselves feel good about yourselves, telling yourselves that you represent what’s best for America, what America truly wants, and what America truly needs. Meanwhile, America was passing you by and evolving.

To Republicans (GOP)

I am sorry that you listened to your neo-conservative wing more than the sane, more sensible center of your party. You joined that bubble of misinformation in the corner and misread your win in 2010 with the Tea Party as a representation of mainstream America. It wasn’t. Democrats, Liberals, and some Independents just didn’t care enough to vote. I tracked this on social media and Democrats were not saying, “All hope is lost!” like you’re saying today. They were castigating each other for not voting.

You believed all your polls, pollsters, numbers, and didn’t look outside of the bubble until it burst over your head and then you could breathe and realize, like the Matrix, that the real world is nothing like you thought it was. I think this was a buildup over several years. You now realize that America has been changing for quite some time. With Obama’s win (Obamacare intact, Black man still running the show), a record number of women being elected to Congress, your losses in the House and Senate, local races showing Democratic favor, minorities carrying Obama back to the White house without much White help compared to Romney, marijuana use (for any reason) passing in two states, and all four states that had gay marriage on the ballot passing their initiatives at the polls it’s quite “a different world than where you come from.” You could have paid attention to all of that going on, but you chose not to. You chose to talk amongst yourselves and believe that you were the mainstream and the hope of America.

You got all that wrong.

You became a party of birthers, a haven for stingy rich people, loudmouth racists, and intolerant windbags. That’s what people think of when they think of you. Enjoy!

Adapt, adjust, or be overcome, Republicans. With all the talk out today of how you’ll “win” next time, you’re not getting it. You couldn’t even come close to winning nationwide because you’re missing the boat. If you don’t change you’ll become obsolete and Democrats will control America in a one-party system, mark my words.

To Racist White People

(Yes, he’s one of you.)

Get a freaking grip. The world isn’t lost. Just like God is still in the blessing business, White people are still in charge of stuff here in the good old USA. Most millionaires and billionaires are White. Most company CEOs are White. Anyone with any real power in the U.S. will most likely be White. Sure, blacks have Obama and Eric Holder, but they’re basically in charge of running a majority White country.

As you enjoy your last few years on your ride to becoming the second largest minority in the U.S. (a pretty powerful group, I might add) by 2050, please know that threatening to kill Obama, calling him a ni**er constantly, talking about taking up arms in case Obama forgets his place (he’s your leader, dumbhead!), and any such other edifying speech does nothing to help your cause when you’re the minority…with all that power still intact. You’ll still be running things for a good long time to come until China gets on their feet.

And simply starts marching to overtake lands. Why do they even have an army? The population can just start walking and trample the world to death. For more information on how awesome it is to be White in this country, and to learn how to calm down, read this.

To Evangelical Christians Who Voted for Mitt Romney

This is a group I know all too well. I know the Black side and I know the White side from my Conservative Christian school from grades 2-12. I know that many of you view Barack Hussein Obama II as nothing more than a pawn in the Devil’s plot to destroy America, which obviously was set up as a Christian haven in 1789 and Jesus spoke the words of the Declaration of Independence to Thomas Jefferson and dictated the Constitution on diamond-encrusted platinum tablets to James Madison. I know you honestly believe all of that.

(Aside from the colonies being set up as Christian havens with Christian-leaning laws, I see some format of our government set up from the Bible but I don’t think we were ever a Christian nation. I honestly don’t even want that as a Christian. Seriously. People have messed up Christianity so much in two millennia that you think we’d be better off with a Christianocracy run by the same fallible humans? See the Holy Roman Empire to see what happens when the church gets political power.)

Honestly, Christians in this group, it makes me sad. I saw so many Christians give up the ghost when they projected that Barack Obama was reelected. Tears, anger, despair, threats of moving to another country like Australia (with their single, atheist woman prime minister and universal healthcare), or of killing oneself abounded. A Coal Mining CEO invoked God the morning of his announcement that he was firing 156 people due to Obamacare staying in place. (The law doesn’t take effect until 1/2014. It’s 11/2012. Why are you firing people today before you even researched how to insure folks? Just say you were going to do layoffs anyway. Besides, coal is dying.)

I just want you all to do better. Even my pastor (of my mostly White conservative-leaning church) gave a sermon on how God is sovereign and in control of things even when they don’t seem to be going your way, because it’s a design for his good work and will to be done.

Like…I’ve NEVER heard that sermon after a Presidential election before, even in 2008. They also sent two emails about the election without endorsing a candidate, but the slant was obviously in Romney’s favor. I am just so disappointed in this group! Since when does conflating politics with your religious beliefs benefit anyone? Since when has it been acceptable only for Christians to identify with Conservative ideologies and then register as a member of the Republican party? I blame Jerry Falwell and the likes of D. James Kennedy for leading you astray. I pray that God helps Dr. Kennedy get back to the task of saving souls, which isn’t done at the ballot box.

Finally, America, let’s pray that Obama does well. Let’s pray that the country is headed in the right direction with equal rights and such. America made it clear that they’re not turning back now. Conservatives and GOP, get your information right and make the changes necessary to be flexible. Meet people where they are, find out their needs, and then educate them on how you approach things. You might find friends in this and it will take a very long time to do this. Democrats and Liberals have done this for decades. You’re just learning. You can still save yourselves, but it won’t be in 2014 or 2016, probably.

Deal with it.

Racist White people – there’s no hope for you except Jesus. So, get you some Jesus.

Evangelical Christians who voted for Romney and lost their minds – GET. A. GRIP. AND. DO. BETTER. You make me sick and you’re making adult Jesus cry and throw things at you. Your life and soul aren’t changed at the ballot box. Also, grow up!