What I Would Say If You Are Gay
Prior to September 26, 2004, I was quite a verbal gay basher. My best friend came out January 1, 2004, and I did nothing but impress upon him the importance of leaving the lifestyle and dedicating himself to God so that he could be straight again. I had a friend who came out to me in college and did the same to him.
Of course, all of my ministering to them in the love of Jesus in this manner would make a world of difference. Surely they’d see the error of their ways and come around. Surely. They had enough power within themselves to simply stop something that is nothing more than an immature exercise in expressing hormonal urges. I mean, straight people abstain from sex, so why can’t gays simply abstain from liking a person of the same sex? Just say no.
I never thought of myself as such until after that date above my best friend told me that he was going to give me until the end of the year to stop speaking what I thought was truth into his life. He was going to drop me after being friends since 1994. I started to “get” how my mother’s siblings felt when she would Bible beat them for years. It never seemed to do any good. They came to Christ on their own, either long before they died or right before they died.
What had I been focusing on? My best friend, already a Christian, didn’t need me to pound into his head about the dangers of gay sex that lead to death and destruction. He wasn’t even having sex. I’ve never told minister friends of mine who were having sex all over campus before they got married that they needed to stop. What did I have to gain from this hard stance? Absolutely nothing.
What I want to tell gay people now is that it’s okay. You can’t help it. You have desires that will not be quenched by someone of the opposite sex and it goes a lot deeper than sex. It’s emotional, mental, and physical. People telling you to stop being gay doesn’t really matter because you can’t stop. As much as 10% of people who’ve tried it have had success with it, ex-gay therapy probably will not help you, either. You’re gay and you have to come out in order to deal with how you’ll handle it: activity, celibacy, just not caring about what others think and living your life. It’s all up to you.
God won’t abandon you. I was told that the Lord hates those who are gay; that he wants nothing to do with them. I was taught that gay people have no place in Heaven and that it was basically the only sin where you could lose your salvation. Listen…as I heard in Sydney…you can’t behave your way in and you can’t behave your way out. Free gifts are not returnable or elite in this instance. Thank God for that. If anything, he’ll love you more and let you know that you’ll be okay. Jesus didn’t die for your sins (and rise from the grave) just to refuse service to a select minority. Who came up with that idea? They need to stop it.
You’ll have ups and downs, but just stick it out. You’ll have frustrations and there are a lot of frogs in that sea of fish (I mean, more than anyone’s fair share of them, really), but you’ll get through it. Just keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling and excellence. Press on and you can succeed.
Take it from me.
I was honest with God about myself on Sunday September 26, 2004, and haven’t looked back since. I’ve been happier, more self-assured, and live life way more real than I ever did before. Lots of growth ensued, sure, and I had to quickly adjust to things; however, it seems to have been worth it.
So far. 🙂
Powerful testimony. I’m a PK so I have seen this scenario played out repeatedly. God bless you.
Thanks!