This weekend was a whirlwind of life lessons about where I am emotionally and spiritually. Without going into details, I’ll just say that my butt got handed to me several times in several different areas.
1. Relationships: What kind of relationships do I want with certain people in my life? I was almost propositioned at an event Friday and had to think for a quick second if I would allow things to go further. Thankfully, I didn’t. I think I was propositioned, but I may have just been overreacting. I acted in a way Saturday that I don’t like and don’t want with someone and that was an overreaction as I rerouted myself around town and adjusted my schedule instead of that which I needed to take care.
2. Time: My Saturday was marked by specific examples of how I treated people and overreacted in certain instances. For example, taking a simple conversation with someone to mean there was interest. As soon as I got away, I saw that it was just a simple conversation. Another example is where I should have left things alone and wound up overreacting in a very bad way.
Sunday I had to deal with rescheduling my day around some people and it kept me out of the house all day when I just wanted to catch up on sleep after church. The overreaction here was trying to please everyone…kinda…instead of taking a more measured approach to spending time with people. I wound up disappointing someone in the process.
3. Work: I just knew that folks were out to get me on Friday. It turns out that it was a simple discussion about things that needed cleaning up, and it’s not that big of a deal. I had upset myself the entire weekend thinking about this meeting Monday morning when it was a 3 minute meeting with more background information of which I wasn’t aware. That is a classic overreaction.
4. Walk: God lovingly kicked my butt repeatedly in one sermon on Sunday. Funny enough, it wasn’t even at the church I attended. I might be looking for a new church and checked out one near my house. Good sermon, but then I listened to my church’s app for the live stream of the sermon they did there and it was a doozy for me. I was convicted of not giving proper respect to authority, not living in the best manner possible, not really trying to or heeding warnings and advice I was given, and not forgiving certain people. I felt like everything from this weekend was a giant life lesson and like God was at my back, helping me out of the ditch, and saying, “You’re fine, now please let’s move on and stop playing around. It’s serious out here,” while providing a gentle push forward. It’s time I listened and took action.
As for that forgiveness thing, someone flashed across my mind and I reached out. We’ll see how that one turns out. It didn’t start off well, to be honest.
Basically, my weekend, while busy and full of amazing, wonderful people (one of whom is new) and a flurry of activity, was a mess internally (and I didn’t get to eat chicken and waffles like I wanted because the restaurant’s voicemail has different hours than they keep on the door). There was so much to process and much more that I’m still processing. I’m really having trouble wrapping my mind around God’s grace. He should have been done with me a very long time ago, but here we are. I’m humbled.
I’ve overreacted to a lot of stuff that’s been made clear to me. I need to calm down in a multitude of areas before I hurt myself beyond repair.