Gays Are Messy

| April 3, 2013 | 1 Comment

In all the fight for gay marriage and gay rights recently, one can choose to overlook some nastiness about gays. Generally speaking, gays (like anyone else, honestly) are messy.

Keene Point of View - Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan isn’t gay (anymore?), but this basically captures what I’m talmbout.

Drunk, high, bitchy, queeny, gossipy, mean, cruel, slutty, cheat-y, and back-stabbing – all accurate descriptions of gays.

A few cases in point:

1. Recently met someone who wanted to be friends and has a significant other. Told me that they wanted to meet. I said we could hang out somewhere public. They offered my home instead. I asked what they planned to do. They provided some ideas that made me blush but then I asked what about the other person? “Oh. It’s not open, so it’s your call. It’s what I want.” I politely declined the offer and the proposed friendship. That’s an example of relationship messiness. The messiness over friendships comes into play when you-

2. Sleep with the person to whom you’re attracted if you only want to be friends. This is mostly because you won’t have a true friendship. You’re just having sex with someone you like without the benefit of a committed relationship. Oh, and it gets really messy once emotions come into play (99% of the time it’s one side emoting more than the other side’s complete lack of emotion), and one friend gets into a romantic relationship with someone else, and the other friend can’t fathom why they weren’t considered when they’ve had so much sex with the newly involved friend…it gets complicated so fast and most times you wind up without a friendship…unless the new relationship is open and you’re still bed buddies. But even then, there is a gap while the relationship gets started.

3. I know a woman who was dating a girl who was traveling a lot and experiencing a new lease on life after living it for so long in a negative way. The girl asked my friend if they could continue seeing each other when the girl was in town. “I would like to date you exclusively and you’re someone I’d settle down with, but I’m not ready for that yet. I want you to stay open and be available. I’ll come back for you.” My friend agreed (ah, youth). I never “got” the mindset of “I’m staying open and seeing how things work out with this person WHO ISN’T HERE OR MAKING MOVES TO BE WITH ME.” You’re being strung along and kept on the back-burner so they have a fall-back plan when their front two burners flame out on what they’re cooking. Sadly, even then, the most they’ll do with you is date you for a bit but won’t commit because you’re just entertainment and background noise for them to distract them from themselves or their loneliness. When they find someone who excites them more, they’ll be gone again and put you back on simmer.

4. No one dates or flirts anymore. You try flirting and it goes over some heads. Their version of flirting is to send pictures and videos of their genitals. You try to get to date someone online and they have nude pictures. They don’t want to get to know you, they want to get to know their idea of your picture and profile. You’re supposed to match up to what they gleaned from your information, not who you actually are. When your voice is too high, you’ve gained/lost 5 lbs., you’re having a bad hair day, or you’re just having a bad day, you’ve lost. When you’re better than they thought, you’re on a level where they feel they can’t compete. You can’t win. A mess.

5. “Happily with someone who completes me in every way; makes my sun rise and set and my moon glow with the brightest light to shine its way into the darkest depths of my soul; makes me tingle with desire whenever I lay eyes on (him/her). We’re open and play together or separately.” M-E-S-S-Y. If I’m doing all that for you (and vice versa), my goodness, what more can someone else add to this except complication?

6. Meth. Stop doing meth, please. Seriously. Even “a little bit” is too much and is never “a little bit”.

7. “I love being around you! We’re such good friends.” (To someone else: “They’re so annoying. I only hang around them because of who they know. I get into clubs for free and might be able to get a job with their friend’s firm.”) This happens a lot and at the end of the day I don’t want to know YOU, and would probably like being around your irritating friend more than you…maybe. Sometimes y’all are right about their level of irritation and connections. I’d rather just know them casually than be considered a friend, though. I don’t have time and neither should you.

These are just some shining examples of how upstanding the gays can be. I was inspired to do this post due to #s 1 and 2 listed here, but 3-7 just “fell out of my purse.” Can we both stop doing that if that’s not really you (if you’re not really in-your-face, just chill with that), and stop making fun of those who actually are like that if they’re being themselves. (Some of y’all ain’t yourselves. I’ve seen you outside of having an audience and you’re a much better human being that way versus the other loud drag queen-ish way.)

But y’all don’t hear me tho. Carry on, messes, carry on.


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  1. Keene Point of ViewGays Are Messy - Part 2 » Keene Point of View | June 18, 2013

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