The NSA and Verizon Tapped My Phone!

| June 6, 2013 | 1 Comment

The following is how a conversation on Twitter with a Tea Party Republican will go if I bring up this phone tapping “news” story that is making its way around the country’s news channels, blogs, and social media outlets. Apparently, there is a secret court order that requires Verizon to turn over phone conversation records of all Americans to the government for surveillance purposes. So, you know, Obama, the NSA and Verizon tapped my phone! ::waves to NSA:: Hey, boos!

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I simply can’t bring this up on Twitter using #tcot, #GOP, #Republican hashtags. Because while there has been 1 (ONE) Tea Party conservative with whom I’ve had a decent conversation about Obama’s record on Twitter, there have been countless others I have blocked because they simply aren’t reading or applying logic to their arguments. Anyway, here is the conversation (::cues up Jill Scott’s paranoid-while-coming-down-from-a-marijuana-high song “Watching Me”::)


Barack Obama, that Kenyan Muslim wicth doctor who calls himself our Dear Leader, is tapping my phone! He used Verizon to get my phone records! He hasn’t read the Constitution! We have liberty and freedom in this country! I am a patriot and you are not, Barack HUSSEIN Obama! If you were born here, you would understand! We should have Romeney for our Prsident! He loves the Consitucion! He wouldn’t NEVER do this! I feel so violated! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK! wE USeD to live in a safe country! Now we live in the Soviet Union! Or Iran! Obama wants us to be Iran! I kNow it1!!!1 WE ARE NOT MUSLIMS, OBAMA!~ GET THAT THRU YOUR THICK SKILL! WE ARE AMERCIA! YOU ARE A TYRANT! yOU WANT TO HEAR mY phone calls Obama? I’ll give you something to hear! Just wait! What is my country turning into?!!!!!!!!!!!! First ObamaSCARE, then BENGHAZI, making up employment numbers for votes, his uppity wife getting in the face of that poor defenseless woman on Tuesday night, AND NOW THI?! We need 2014 to get here soon! I can’t wait for 2016 to get here so we can finally be rid of his **gg** a**! 

That was really an amalgam of many things I’ve heard from Tea Party conservatives on Twitter about Obama and I’m assuming that’s how it would go for this phone tapping thing. I don’t even want to search for it on Twitter. I don’t have enough Excedrin. My response:

Please. No more.  Source (Joey Gates, Deviant Art)

Source (Joey Gates, Deviant Art)

Good American, thank you for your concern over the recent late-breaking news story of the government issuing a secret court order requiring Verizon to turn over phone conversation records for surveillance purposes. From what I understand, this particular case began 7 years ago and was approved by Congress, meaning that it started under President George W. Bush. I realize that many people (including me) are upset that President Obama has continued the surveillance policies and Patriot Act started under the Bush Administration after saying that he wouldn’t or would cut back on them, but many times candidates say things until they get in the driver’s seat and understand why it was done and why some things have to continue for the time being. This isn’t to say that I’m okay with it, but complaining about it to the Obama Administration for 5 years has obviously been fruitless and I don’t think they’re going to change their minds in the next 3 years. 

Furthermore, fellow loyal countryman, just because this order was approved by a GOP-lead Congress and a Republican president at the time (2006), I’m sure this is not the first time anything like this was approved by the government. I’m pretty confident in my assessment that the National Security Agency has been wiretapping citizens’ since at least the 1990s or maybe right after Watergate. We know that Jane Fonda was followed a lot after supporting the Vietcong. I mean, the Patriot Act was okay with you, but this wasn’t? It’s kinda the same thing. All I know is that The Simpsons Movie made fun of it. All humor is based in some truth. 

Keene Point of View - Simpsons Movie NSA

How The Simpsons Movie accurately depicts the National Security Agency (NSA)

What I wanna know is, are we supposed to be outraged that the government got “caught” doing this or just mad that we’re just catching them admitting to doing this? Because I’m not surprised by it, nor do I believe in the concept of total privacy. It’s a false comfort to think it exists in America when companies like Apple, Google, Verizon, and Comcast sell your information to advertisers more than to the government, probably, but y’all are just a-okay with that. Get thee hence! But for real, shout-outs to those who broke the story and have to be scared while talking on the telephone from now on. (Hey, Glenn Greenwald, hey!)

Finally, are y’all discussing incriminating stuff on the phone? I mean…what the prollem is?! No one who has a phone, debit card, television, or Internet connection is capable of privacy these days and it’s almost impossible to fall of the grid. For all this outrage, it ain’t like the government or companies will stop letting it do what it do. 

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Are you angry about this? Scared? “Meh”? All three? This, to me, isn’t surprising news. What’s surprising is that a “leak” got out about the case with no one saying from where they got the information about the case. I think we’re being tested with what we’re comfortable with as Americans so they can gauge future actions that undermine our civil liberties.




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Category: Barack Obama, Conservatives, Politics

Comments (1)

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  1. TajMahal says:

    That cat waving “Hey, boos!”. Cut it out! LOL

    “I think we’re being tested with what we’re comfortable with as Americans so they can gauge future actions that undermine our civil liberties.”

    I’ve been saying this. This is nothing new. Yet, when I said it, I was called a conspiracy theorist. I’m not the least bit surprised that this has been going on or that they lied about it going on. That’s what they do. There are A LOT of things that the government does that they will tell us aren’t happening, and people go on with their happy lives in ignorant bliss. Someone will hint at it, people call them crazy, then a story leaks and people fall to pieces. Then I pull up a chair, a bucket of popcorn and crack the hell up. Most people have no idea what’s going on down the street, so they’re shocked out of their comfortable existence when they find these things out. But it doesn’t matter. They’ll be back to their sports programming and their shiny new toys soon enough to care that long.

    I’m also not surprised at the Conservative backlash. They make everything a flag-waving big deal, so I just tune their crazy asses out. I try to tune out most people in political conversations, because they make NO sense, and we’d end up battling to the death. I had to laugh at that second pic you posted, because that’s EXACTLY how I feel after getting into it with someone that I disagree with, especially when their opinions are based on total stupidity.

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