Please file this story about the Family Research Council hosting an event announcing that July is “Ex-Gay Month” in the “Things I Don’t Have Time For” folder. The main spokesperson for the event, Christopher Doyle of Voice for the Voiceless (How are you “voiceless” when you have the entire right-wing of politics, the Christian right, and the entire Republican Party in your corner? I really want to know!) stated that ex-gays have rights too and need people to defend them from defamation. People apparently support gays universally (this is news to me) but the gay lobby makes fun of ex-gays, who, he says, need to be respected for their life choices too. They also chose July because it is the month following Gay Heritage Month (June).
New Victims United Voice for the Voiceless is of the opinion that sexuality, while complex, still boils down to a choice and some people have chosen to do away with their natural sexual orientation and live an “ex-gay” lifestyle. They’ve gone from ex-gay meaning “straight” to ex-gay meaning, “Try reeeeeeally hard to get it up for a woman and you’ll be ‘cured.'” They’ve gone from decrying psychologists who said that sexual orientation/sexuality is a complex topic and can never truly be changed to now saying that psychologists say that sexuality is a complex topic, which supports their claims that you can change your orientation. “It’s bigger than just sex.” It infuriates me that gay people have been telling the ex-gay ministry this for years and all of a sudden the ex-gay ministry is listening and twisting what gays have been saying all this time!
You can’t say it’s just about sex one year and seek counseling to stop having sex with people of the same sex, and then say it’s not about sex anymore when the only real change you’ve made is that you’ve stopped having sex with people of the same sex. It’s. Still. About. Sex. For. You. Being gay is about an emotional connection, deeper emotions than lust, love, love bonds, and a culture before you even get to anything having to do with sex.
Look, you can take July and make it ex-gay month all you want to. That’s fine. You can live your life in a way where you find your natural sexual desires abhorrent and pray your gay away or live in a way where you think it’s gone, but it won’t ever go away. You can equate your desires with lustful sex acts and think that’s all there is to them, and get married to someone of the opposite sex and raise a family, distracting you from what you really want that is nagging at you from the inside. You can shame yourself into living a lie if you want to. It’s your right as an American adult to do so.
HOWEVER, it is phony and wrong to cry about not getting rights or respect if someone thinks your approach to life is the dumbest and most harmful thing they’ve ever heard or seen because it is the exact same thing you’ve done to gay people all along. You didn’t leave them alone to peacefully coexist. You took every opportunity you had to denounce them and tell them how unhappy they are because you weren’t happy hoing all week long with all kinds of men running up and through you. (That, by the way, is a sexual addiction and you were trying to fill a void that may have had nothing to do with being gay.)
And now you’re saying that you want to be left alone to live peacefully when you refused to do the same thing for gay people and will fight tooth and stiletto to ensure they don’t have rights even as you claim that you just want to be left alone. Stop being a wolf disguised as a sheep trying to graze on the meadow of equality. You mock Jesus, your cause, and decent ex-gays everywhere.
What rights do ex-gays really want aside from not being made fun of by gay groups? I really want to know what rights they’ll be missing as newly anointed straight-until-these-kids-are-adults-and-I-just-give-in-to-what-I-want people. If I cussed on this blog, today would be the day I’d let so many words fly. This really infuriates me. The arrogance and self-victimization! Lawd!