A Domestic Twitter Dispute

I retweeted something from Twitter today that mentioned something about a man hitting a woman in self-defense or something like that. Apparently, as it happens on Twitter, some folks feel that a woman being hit (even if she’s whaling on a dude cowered into a corner) is unacceptable because men are generally stronger than women, and can push the woman away, restrain her, or just walk away.  I’ve seen video footage negating this, but it’s been rare, and I’ma just move on now.

I quoted something I was told while being raised. “No matter WHO hits you, you hit them back. Defend yourself. If they’re hitting you and you can’t get away, you have a right to hit back.” Now, I just quoted that and didn’t respond to it timely enough and a follower blocked me. This made me sad because I rather enjoyed tweeting with this person almost daily, and remarked that I wasn’t given a chance to explain my response to the quote, but just immediately blocked. We then got into it with another tweeter and that tweeter walked away saying I wasn’t understanding her point (it’s best to teach people how to avoid those situations altogether), which I reiterated to her that I did understand, and that’s kinda where things got left off. (And because the quote was from my youth, I connected it to how people are raised, which I was told was irrelevant now that we’re adults, to which I said you reach adulthood by having a baseline from how you were raised, and while you can change from this, it’s still there and by default, we go back to that if we haven’t improved on anything. Then I said that I don’t hear women telling other women who hit everyone to keep their hands to themselves, but hear it told to men all the time, but I’m not condoning anyone hitting anyone…oy.)

 

This is, I think, my first Twitter dispute (read: misunderstanding). I’ve heard about them before, but man, they’re not fun. Two options remain when that happens: Explain or Tweet Through It. I did both today.

So, here’s my response to that quote:

1. As a man, no matter what I say about a woman being hit will look good because I’m a man. It looks like I condone women being hit and even blame them for being hit, which delves into a woman not making the coffee right or being too “lippy” and deserving punishment, which I am not saying at all.

2. Women don’t deserve to be hit. Men don’t deserve to be hit. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves.

3. Standing up for yourself in a fight does not mean that you condone domestic violence.

4. No one deserves to be hit (even Rush Limbaugh).

5. Should a man walk away from a fight with a woman that she starts? Yes. Should a woman walk away from a fight that she starts with a man? Yes.

6. Should a man start a fight with a woman? No. (Like…does that even need to be said? Y’all really think I’m Ike Turner out here? Women are not things, but are people, just like men and deserve the same respect, if not more in some cases.)

7. Now that I’m grown, I know to walk away from a fight with a woman (unless I’m cornered/have no escape route/she is an MMA-trained fighter, then I’m fighting my way out to get away, but I don’t see myself even being in the situation to be in a fight with a woman because I’m basically peaceful and I think that fighting is stupid), but just keep in mind that no matter who you are, everyone wasn’t raised to be nice, and everyone isn’t operating nicely as an adult to their own peril, whether it’s jail or a hospital. Keep your hands to yourself, regardless. You never know what you’ll incite with people these days.

8. “If a man returns to a woman who is hitting him, he’s an idiot.” See, if that’s said to a woman, it’s wrong to say it. And there are male victims of domestic violence. And they (man or woman) are not idiots, they’re emotionally broken people who feel the abuser offers them something they need and can’t get on their own. I’ve had victims of domestic violence in my own extended family from both genders. I don’t think any of those people who stayed are idiots. My first relationship was an emotionally and verbally abusive one. I stayed until therapy helped me see that I had everything in me that I was looking for in that cur.

Somehow this gets translated into me being a fan of domestic violence. I’ve actually helped people get out of domestically violent situations. Why did I post this? I don’t know. Just wanted to air out something I didn’t get to explain in 140 characters, I guess. I’ll have to do my version of “Twitter taught me” soon. ‘Cause…

Tags: Domestic Violence, featured, Fighting, Politics, Violence Against Men, Violence Against Women

Category: Politics