Gays Are Messy – Part 5: Five Questions
These are some gay questions I have about gay people living that gay life in this gay world. Gays are messy, part 5. The other parts (if you’re interested) are also on the site.
1. What if anti-gay people are right?
Let’s be real. Gay people cannot create life and you have to jump through so many legal entanglements to get a child (unless you’re a foster parent adopting in a liberal state) that you wonder why you have to go through the hassle of being gay all over again. If you want to get married, only several countries allow you to do that and the U.S. can’t seem to get it together to get same-sex marriage at the Federal level. On top of that, how will people know to whom you’re married? Also, we are redefining traditional marriage between a man and a woman (just noting this, not giving right-wing defense here) as those couple often redefine marriage between themselves. Yet, they both call each other husband and wife. Gays? Partner, spouse, or husband/wife with an explanation that you’re married to someone of the same sex (if warranted). It’s like you have to jump through so many hoops and over so many walls just to prove that you are valid as a human being and have the right to live life however you want to live it in America. If you’re straight, everything is pretty much laid out for you already. It just seems like less of a fight to justify/prove yourself if you’re straight. Even sexually, if you’re a gay bottom, you have to do SOOOOO much just to be able to have sex. Women? They’re good to go. Men and tops? Good to go. No one’s saying that it has to be done that way, but it’s the most popular. What if it really is an immature response to an emotional hole from the past from a parent or parent-like figure? (This is what I was told that being gay was in therapy.)
2. Will I die alone?
I ran across a book that celebrated how gay men were once celebrated because they stayed single from coming out through death in their late-80s. They had many hookups and attempts at dating, but mostly they prided themselves on staying single and not fitting a heteronormative mold. Where men and women dated, married, and raised families, gay men (and women) were always self-encouraged to not fit that mold. Gays were supposed to basically just have sex with each other, often many at the same time, and give pieces of themselves away sexually until they were all used up. Gays weren’t ever supposed to settle down and find a life partner (or if they did, they were to settle down enough to have an open relationship even if it wasn’t best for them), and definitely not raise kids because being gay is all about sex and nudity, which is no place for children. So, I ask, if you don’t fit that mold, yet there is a strong undercurrent of resistance to settling down (at least by interpersonal action, if not by words), will I die alone? I want to be married. I want to raise a family. I want to leave a legacy that’s meaningful and not one of chasing eternal youth and silly sexual aspirations that only benefit me. And if anyone says that they want this, they either don’t go after it, aren’t attracted to who is offering it to them (for whatever stupid reasons, in many cases), or get it and don’t know how to appreciate it, hurt themselves, and beg for pity.
3. Why doesn’t the Bible mention gay people?
No, it doesn’t. I mean gay as in relationship, emotional-bond gay. Not same-sex people either wanting to rape others of the same sex to teach them a lesson about coming into their town uninvited (Sodom and Gomorrah; tribe of Benjamin), being lost to a depraved mindset in an idol’s temple in the Roman Empire (Romans). or molesting kids (I Corinthians). Is it because there are honestly such a small number of truly gay people in the world (3% in America are officially out, with up to 10% being thought of as truly gay)? Why does it feel more “right with yourself and clear-minded” to be out of the closet and not attempting to be straight, trying really hard to lie to yourself and feeling split down the middle your entire life? Why does God use gay people to do his work/bless others as much as he uses straight people? There are examples of close friendships in the Bible (David and Jonathan), but there aren’t romantic ones. Some folks will say because it’s not of God and puts a stench in His nostrils, but so does their speeding every day going to work (breaking man’s law, which doesn’t conflict with God’s law).
4. Why do gay men value youth so much?
One of the joys of growing older is that hopefully, you gain some wisdom. Sadly, this is not the case for many gay men. I mean, you meet a 52 year-old who only dates 18-23 year-olds because he feels that they have the youthful spirit to which he is trying to cling. Also, he can look like, “I pulled this!” Whatever, dude. Listen, gay men, growing up will happen, no matter the amount of Botox or chest presses that you do. By all means do you and be authentic, but it seems like a majority of gay men are simply just not interested in being mature, except for work. They’ll be in management, sure, but outside of that? Look, why are you making the same choices in life that led to dead ends that you made at 22?
5. Finally, why is the Christian gay walk considered a misguided one?
I know that people have their opinions on anything, but the moment you mention “Christian gay person,” people start talking against it like it’s a trick of the enemy to actually have a gay person surrender their life to Jesus, love Him enough to tell others about Him and get those people saved, and be willing to die for His name. Really? Satan would be proud of people getting into Heaven? “You’re leading folks to hell,”…by telling people that no other name can save them but Jesus and that He loves them? Okay there. I won’t go off here, but if you’re telling me that just because someone is gay (“The Bible is clear on homosexuality and gay people,”…in arguably 8 versus, maybe, versus the ambiguous instructions for straight people, who get admonished hundreds of times) that means they have such a fatal flaw that God can’t use them to carry out His good work and will, you need to check yourself and see how He’s used you in spite of your flaws and sins with which you’re still struggling. I mean, like someone on Facebook said, “If a gay person is going to attend church, why wouldn’ t they attend with the mindset that they need to change because God said they aren’t supposed to be gay?” I mean, right? Because, like, everyone attends church to immediately change their lives and don’t go back out and do things that the Bible says are sins (like having two kids out of wedlock and living with your girlfriend…SOMEBODY is doing that). So, Jesus can help out straight people where they are, no matter how long their process takes, but a gay person needs to have their stuff together before seeking out Jesus because Jesus totally placed that condition on them for salvation. Got it!
I didn’t mean to go off on that last one, but it burns me up. Anyway, am I over-thinking stuff? Are there answers? These are just some questions that have knocked around in my head. Feel free to chime in if you have something that won’t infuriate my readers (or at least explain yourself if you do). Thanks for reading and replying!