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Jeremy Meeks Is a Sexy Felon & Men Can’t Stand It

Men are some of the most butt-hurt creations that God has ever assembled. Don’t ever let a man tell you that he is master of his emotions and that nothing gets him down or upset. Point out the recent outrage over women (and certain men) all over the world on the Internet fawning over Jeremy Meeks of Stockton, California. He is a felon who served time before for illegal weapons charges and was arrested for more of those recently. His mugshot was posted on the police department’s Facebook page and the adulation took off from there. Here’s why:

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#FelonCrushFriday #FeloniousBae

Look, Jeremy, whatever you did can be forgiven and we can move on. I’m sure they’re just hating with those charges anyway. Besides, all I hear is “He was trying to save hungry, needy toddlers with special needs…that’s why he needed those illegal guns.” What’s that? You’ll drop me off at work and I’ll come home on a bus because you stole my car and cleaned out my house while I was gone? It’s fine! You gotta do what you gotta do. I forgive you. For some gray, chiseled, and pouty reason.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I’m more upset than anything that this man is not a full time runway and print model or at least some eye candy actor on a CW teen heartthrob show. How does this happen, world?!

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Basically.

So, anyway, the Internet created a firestorm around this guy based on his mugshot. Now there are donation accounts set up to build up the bail money (I guess, but with it being set at $900,000, we might don’t make it) or put money on his prisoner card, and I really think that’s a bridge gone too far. Now, I don’t mind the jokes and memes created out of this. I’m even okay with women openly lusting and making jokes about his mugshot. Hey, sexy criminals get arrested all the time. There’s even a Tumblr dedicated to them. However, trying to get this guy off knowing nothing about him except how he looks? Let’s everyone just settle down.

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This is what he should be doing.

And while I’m discussing who needs to settle down, I’d like straight men all over the world to shut up and just take a knee on this one. Let women have their fun. Women can’t enjoy Idris Elba, Tony Goldwyn (Fitz on Scandal), or Joe Manganiello as Alcide in True Blood without y’all getting your boxers in a bunch, but they’re supposed to be okay with you all lusting after every basic woman walking down the street and never letting go of the never-gonna-happen dream of you finally smashing Janet Jackson or Beyonce. Sir. No! Sir, have a seat! Women are just doing what you’re doing.

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It doesn’t make a difference if Jeremy Meeks is a felon. Fine is fine is fine. Most women in their right minds are only ogling his face and want nothing more to do with him in life. It’s just something for fun. The difference is that women know when to stop but y’all keep hope alive that Beyonce might show up on your doorstep lost, wet, and half naked and only thank you with sex for a night or two. Let it go and let women go have their fun over this just like you have fun when a female convict’s mugshot shows up somewhere. It’s just fun. Stop hating and making the “Jeremy Meeks is gay” memes. You’re looking petty over something that will never happen. He hasn’t taken all the single women to his planet of sexual delights forever and ever. You can still get chose after you tuck in your petty and your butt hurt. (This includes you, too, local media.)

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Aww. His mama.

And here is where things get sticky.

Capture

He’s married with kids. Womp womp. LOL

So, now that Jeremy is ovah, we move on to this guy who is allegedly his brother:

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With whom did their mother have sex to produce them? Adonis himself? That kid Jesus and Mary Magdalene supposedly had? My goodness. They look like two slices of bread for a mess-up-your-credit-and-life sandwich (and you’d let them do it).

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6 Comments

  • Kellie, June 21, 2014 @ 6:24 am Reply

    Speak for yourself. I have more dignity and self respect than to shack up with a thug who spent 9 years in prison only to get caught carrying a gun and got nabbed again. Apparently he didn’t learn his lesson. And apparently he cares more about guns than his wife and child. I’ll take a good man who will treat me right than a thug who isn’t as cute as everyone says. Look at this lovely pic of him. https://scontent-b-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t1.0-9/10364128_10204250912416140_5425595030708742584_n.jpg Thanks but no thanks.

    • jamin, June 23, 2014 @ 12:15 pm Reply

      Thanks for reading. How can you say he’s not cute? Felon or not, he’s cute. Millions of people are saying so and this, to me, isn’t a case of “eye of the beholder” beauty. This is God knocking over the blessing jar and giving him a lot to work with, which he’s squandered. And you don’t have to worry about shacking up with him because that’s what his wife and mother of his children is doing. Again, we were all just having fun and most of us were just making jokes about this. That’s all I see it as – lighthearted fun. Hot felons exist. We just acknowledge it, make jokes, and move on. But I guess you’re different and that pays off in the end.

  • willpower, June 29, 2014 @ 2:43 am Reply

    Ya. It’s all fun and games til he comes to your doorstep…..or someone else supposedly “hot” like him. Then what.

    • jamin, June 30, 2014 @ 9:49 am Reply

      Ain’t nobody with any sense wanting that to happen.

    • jamin, June 30, 2014 @ 9:50 am Reply

      I actually laughed all the way through that. And since no one has really talked about him in a week or so, I’m thinking it was indeed more fun and games than serious attempts at trying to get with a married felon.

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