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My Ratchet On The Run Tour Recap

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I went to the On The Run Tour with my friend on Monday evening. I left about an hour later than I wanted and the show started at 8:55. We got in around 9:20. We walked in during “Yonce”. You can read all the reviews about the show that have already been printed and accurately reported. The show was great. I could tell this took some time to plan and the songs fit the theme of the show (Bonnie & Clyde) until near the end of the Bonnie & Clyde thing they were doing. They just broke out random songs then but it was still nice. Overall, this was more of a Jay Z concert than a joint concert. I was very pleased that Beyoncé tried new things and they paid off. (Honestly, she’s been doing about the same thing since 2003 in all her shows and I was growing a bit tired. But this new stuff? Please give us more, Bey!) They appeared very much in love on stage and happy with each other. (Tina showed up in the family movies with Blue Ivy, but I didn’t see Solange. Ahem.)

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Are they a perfect couple? I don’t know. I don’t know them, neither do you, and even when I get to know them, I still won’t know them fully, but I wish them the best.

But about the show (on the real real). My On The Run Tour Recap:

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1. Worst traffic I’ve ever seen in Baltimore getting in and getting out. I got home around 2 a.m. The show ended before 11:30 p.m. Thanks to Baltimore City for not letting any cops have the night off, though.

2. Women, why do some of you come to a show at a football stadium in 5-inch platform stilettos, tight miniskirts, midriff-baring tops, and a fresh blowout to sit in 95 degree heat and humidity when everyone else around you is standing? The only woman we came to see is Beyoncé and there are far too many people to notice you otherwise. If you like dressing like that, more power to you. I would think you’d like to be more comfortable in flats, sandals, or sneakers, shorts, and a T-shirt. Some of these women looked so uncomfortable walking way far away back to their cars. They probably caught an attitude quick just because their feet hurt.

3. Shout-out to the woman in the Louboutin kitten heels with a dress she put a lot of effort into. That really happened. Louboutin kitten heels. At a Beyoncé concert.

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4. I half-expected the crucifix between the “J + B” projection at the end of the show to flip upside down, but I didn’t see any imagery of pyramids, all-seeing eye, or anything else that made me side-eye.

5. Some men were overdressed too. I know y’all were hot in those unbreathable tops and jeans with Timbs. I wore shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers, and I still had a sweat washcloth that was 80% wet by the time I left.

6. Some people need to bathe before coming to an outdoor concert at a stadium on a humid day. We walked up to our section and there was a wall of heat, body odor, funk, and humidity that hit all at once. Just ruined all my hard work showering before coming out.

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7. If Beyoncé don’t stop teasing me with “Countdown” during a tour! That’s my favorite song from 4 and yet again, like during the Mrs. Carter Show Tour, we just heard a chopped-up version of the song without a performance. #NO

8. Shout-out to the woman who’d never been to a concert before. She was yelling, “WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN! YES, NIGGA! LEARN DAT!” during “Ghosts/Haunted” (I hate that song) and “BECAUSE YOU LIED! TELL HIM, BEY! LET THESE NIGGAS KNOW! THAT’S WHY I CAN’T STAY WIT’ YO’ A**!” during “Resentment”. My friend and I surmised that she bought all the paraphernalia from the show and she won’t attend another concert for at least ten years. Stay classy, Baltimore.

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Credit: Chad Batka for the New York Times

9. There were 17 tour buses (Bey and Jay left in a caravan of SUVs after the show) parked in the back and there must have been several roadies in need of medical attention because there were far too many street hustlers selling loads of authentic concert T-shirts for $10/shirt afterward. Some roadies got knocked in the head to make a quick buck.

10. Shout-out to the fans freaking out in their car because they couldn’t find parking and they heard the show starting. Seriously, they were crying and devastated.

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Did you attend the show? What did you like or not like? Do you have similar questions or observations? Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading!

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