Should Gay Christians Be Celibate? NOPE!

| August 6, 2014 | 2 Comments


The Washington Post wrote this article about how gay Christians are now against ex-gay therapy (hooray!) and embracing celibacy as the new way to appease other straight Christians in their churches who are uncomfortable with their homosexuality once they’re out please God. The article starts out cohesively but becomes disjointed and brittle by the end, with a lot of opinions about being gay instead of discussing celibacy.

I have many problems with this article aside from the way it ended. I look at ex-gay therapy as a way of doing nothing else that imposing homophobia on the Christian church and shaming gay people into compliance by marrying someone of the opposite sex to whom they have a casual attraction. They build a life together and their “success” is measured by how many children they have and how long they stay married – basically, policing their sexuality. The Christian church is obsessed with sex and I’d like to know how we got here.


Personally, God did not grant me the gift of celibacy. Yeah, sure, don’t have sex when you’re not married (::fingers crossed::) but celibacy? Nawl. Not for me. And it’s likely not for you, either. See, Jesus and Paul were not married and Paul greatly enjoyed his celibacy. He enjoyed it so much that he wrote about it.

1 Corinthians 7:32-40

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.

1 Corinthians 7:7-9

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

See? Paul loved it. Jamin does not. Jamin desires to be married, have sex, be touched and held. I think Paul had a spiritual gift of singleness and celibacy that he viewed as a great honor to God. I view singleness as a great frustration before the Lord. You get it yet? It’s not a gift for me.


I think that this new wave of “celibacy” for gay Christians is the latest way for Christians who are still uncomfortable with gay people in their midst to put another lock on them now that ex-gay therapy has proven harmful to more gay people than helpful. You started off by telling them that they had to be straight (via therapy) to get in your good graces, and that didn’t work out – it pushed more either to suicides or to embracing their sexuality and coming back stronger, not caring what you think of them. Now you’re heading to the ropes and this comes off as a last-ditch effort to still guilt and shame a gay person into getting into your good graces by putting yet another requirement on them to be “good” Christians. While you say nothing to the straight people fornicating around you every night.


If a gay person desires celibacy because of their commitment to God (while waiting for someone or while just waiting for God to call them home years from now), that’s up to them and I support that as a conscious decision. I don’t support celibacy being the only option that remains for a gay person to prove their Christianity just because straight Christians can’t handle a gay person being gay. That’s not loving or Christ-like and it needs to stop now. In the wrong hands, this “celibacy” thing can be just as harmful as the ex-gay movement was.


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Category: Christianity, Gay, Sex

Comments (2)

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  1. AWordorThree says:

    This is something I’ve often had questions about. I believe that straight folks are called to abstain until marriage, but I never really knew what abstinence meant for same sex couples or individuals. Should they wait until they are married too? Or until marriage is allowed in their state? or country? or whatev?
    Questions galore!

    DO you believe anyone is called to be celibate? Or what do you think the Bible calls for regarding sexual intimacy in general? Can we all just go ham?

    • jamin says:

      Yes, I think they should, even though most don’t. I believe people are called to be celibate, but I think it’s a spiritual gift like teaching, pastoring, prophecy, and tongues. I don’t think it should be thrust upon anyone but saved until marriage. This seems to be a new movement to make gay people more palatable to straight Christians like the ex-gay movement was.

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