Waiting on God Sucks
There, I said it. Waiting on God to move on something sucks.
I could really just leave it right there and close out the post, but I won’t.
I’ve started a prayer journal. My senior pastor wants everyone to do it and said he won’t stop talking about it until everyone does it. But the Holy Spirit led me to do it more than my pastor. Anyway, it’s been going okay so far. The first entry was generic until the end. Last night, though, was way more intense – almost two pages. I let God have it about how I’m just weary now of waiting for something to be resolved one way or the other. I don’t get why this has to take this long as it doesn’t seem very important right now. It’s honestly just a thing – not a huge thing – so I don’t get why I have to keep waiting. And I’m only waiting because I’m being told to wait, otherwise, I wouldn’t have waited around for anything months ago.
Every time I want to pull away, I feel led to stay. I prayed about it on Friday and was cut off, hearing, “Just trust me.” That comforted me. All the kicking, screaming, and bucking at this to get away from waiting hasn’t worked. Nothing I’m trying to do to get out of this or make it “better” for me has worked. Things that I could line up for that are being torn away. It’s clear that I’m supposed to wait and hold on, but I’m annoyed.
Oh?
Last month God confirmed about 5 things at one time that he told me, so I know that waiting is best, but I’m just so tired of it now. I’m tired of holding on. I’m tired of thinking about it. I’m okay honestly letting it go forever at this point – that’s how tired I am. I want to know how this will end up or go, but my muscles are tired flexing to hold onto it. I ended the prayer asking for God to provide a reprieve of some sort while he helps me to continue waiting on Him to move. I don’t get why this is so hard for him to do. Just do it already! Does this really require all this preparation time? It’s not that big of a deal (at least it seems that way to me). LOL
I ebb and flow with this, if I’m being honest.
So, I look forward to more journaling. It’s been nice to lay out everything in words that I can review later to see where I was and what God did to bring me out of it. I believe He’ll do it now, too, but I am tired. I am weak. I am worn. Precious Lord, take my hand. Lead me on, help me stand. My way feels almost gone.
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Category: Christianity, Life
I love you honesty! I understand totally where you are because I am in the same excruciating discomfort myself! But as I wait (it’s been years now), I feel that God has strengthened me. He is building character and integrity in me! Even though I am grumpier than I’d like to admit these days and I am severely exhausted, I still wait…now with more patience and diligence! Remember that we serve an awesome God and if He promised something than He will not break not one of those promises!!! Be of good cheer and good heart and wait upon the Lord! Love this post!
Thanks! Thanks for reading too!