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Michele Bachmann Should Shut Up Forever

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Michele Maleficent Marie Bachmann is a former Congresswoman from a place in Minnesota where enough idiots got out to vote and send this idiot to Congress for four terms. She sort of skyrocketed to fame by being one of the few Republican Congresswomen around who was soft on the eyes (like attractive Sarah Palin) and started spouting some really outrageous nonsense. That got her camera time and then she really reveled in being a Capitol Hill celebrity and took on being the only woman out front supporting the Tea Party after Barack Obama’s 2009 Inauguration. She did not run for a fifth term after almost losing her fourth run for office, and is still (for some reason) going around speaking and people are giving her a platform.

I give no country to Michele Bachmann. She and her husband run a Christian counseling agency, which is fine, but her flamboyantly effeminate twisty, twirly, sashay-y, totally-not-gay husband is a strong proponent of harmful ex-gay therapy, which they still continue in spite of ex-gay organizations shutting down, recanting their views, and apologizing for the harm they caused through the years. Another reason I don’t like her is that when she ran for president in 2012 she said that the Founding Fathers were against slavery and fought hard until it was eradicated.

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Um…while Thomas Jefferson lamented the state of slavery, he never set his slaves free. George Washington was rumored to not like slavery, but he never gave them freedom. There was a whole section of Southern colonies that helped set up what would become the United States of America who were not giving up slavery. Slavery was a huge deal in new territories and was a determining factor in deciding if land could be reserved as a territory. America always placated the South over slavery in order to preserve the union. And all the Founding Fathers were dead by the time the 13th Amendment passed in 1865, and that was only done as punishment for the South seceding and starting the Civil War – not out of some altruistic desire for America to be better than racism.

Now we come to more rhetoric from Michele Bachman against President Obama. She’s done nothing but blast him the entire time she was in Congress. She complained about Obamacare hurting America and not being what America is about, but she takes large farm subsidies, lowering her family’s tax burden and hurting social programs that help the poor.

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Michele Bachmann now says that Obama is single-handedly bringing about the rapture and the return of Jesus (after a 7 year reign of the Antichrist during the Great Tribulation) because of a deal with Iran where President Obama is actually preventing Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, but she says because we aren’t doing 100% of what Israel wants with the deal, that means that we are ignoring Israel in favor of giving Iran an actual nuclear weapon. Because she can clearly read into things and look for context clues on another level than we can. I mean, if that’s not what’s going on with her, then the only other option is that she’s a utter loon-bat idiot who needs to fade away from public life and we should stop granting her airtime to spout her nonsensical ramblings.

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Michelle Marie, if anyone is bringing about the rapture, it’s God alone. Even Jesus said He doesn’t know when he is coming back. Only God knows that. Your interpretation of events are very limited in scope and apply only to the United States of America. God is a global God. He pays attention to much more than America, and he judges the hearts of people. Sure, that contributes to a nation being blessed or cursed, but if you honestly think that marriage equality and a deal with Iran amount to the downfall of America, I have to wonder where your ire is for greedy banks, corporations, and rich people who only have it out for themselves and would sell off America to the highest bidder if it meant they got more money in the end. But, then again, you’ve support policies that help those greedy people continue to take more and more from everyone, so I can’t expect you to look objectively at such things.

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Because you’re not smart enough to do that. Please just go away, Michele Bachmann. Your time has been up for far too long now. Shut up and be gone henceforth. Feel free to come back when you’re able to contribute meaningfully to the discourse. I understand this means that we may never hear from you again.

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